Freudian Slip

I was in the Emergency Department recently, and treated a young female patient who came in with discharge and odor...of a female nature.

When you come in with this problem, your doctor (in this case, me) is obligated to perform a pelvic exam.


Joy.

So, I'm doing my exam and the smell is, in fact, quite potent. Sometimes, Matt leaves old Tupperware containers in his car during the summer, with old food bits and juices inside, that bake and congeal for days...yeah, the smell was sort of similar to those.

Now, to make women more comfortable during the pelvic exam process, I always tell them what I'm going to do before I do it. "You're going to feel my hand on your thigh. Now I'm going to look on the outside. I'm going to insert the speculum," etc, etc.

I'm getting ready to do the bimanual portion of the exam, which I always preface by saying "Alright, now I'm going to press on your belly to examine your uterus and ovaries".

Except, this time, I said, "I'm going to press on your belly to examine your uterus and odor-ies".

Oops!